After spending some weeks staying with friends of hers, a dear friend of mine wrote:
Here in my little house, “back on my own again”, there was a very painful passage to fully accept being alone, which is what each of us ultimately really is.
I was very touched, and replied:
I would say: On the one hand and on the other hand. Being alone and being all one. I am nothing, and everything. When you realise the individual as an illusion, as just one story in an endless hierarchy – which itself is still just one grain of sand on an infinite beach of stories… Or put another way:
You can only feel alone if you ascribe to the illusion of being a separate individual.
When you drop this incorrect view, the whole question of being alone does not even arise. Not on a deeper level. What remains is the mind-energy-body organism. This has its necessities, like food, shelter and, yes, human warmth, contact and exchange. This must be accepted. But the important thing here is, not to identify with the organism. See and understand it as a story. This will definitely blunt the cutting edge of the way the organism feels about its situation, needs and desires.
Get Enlightened to drop the illusion
I’ve provided a brief description of Enlightenment and other spiritual states on my Teachings page. For me it means that an individual has come to actually notice the underlying non-separation of all phenomena. When you have come to that noticing, and rationally recognised the fact by reflecting on your experiences, then any thoughts of being alone can only be on the purely organismic level. Alone can then only be in the sense of not having any friends, or living on a desert island – but never again in the sense of being separate.
Fortunately, it’s not too difficult to come to this noticing for yourself. All you need to do is appropriate exercises to expand your perception beyond conventionally accepted limits, and reflect on what your experiences imply. I’m currently developing appropriate exercises named DTFE – Do The F***ing Exercises, and hope to offer them soon in groups.